I believe God’s been trying to pound a message into me the last couple weeks, and it’s terrifying..terrifyingly beautiful.
In my AP European History class, we have been studying World War I, World War II, and the Holocaust extensively for about a month now. And being the history fanatic I am, I immediately got onto Netflix and began watching every available documentary there is. Needless to say, by the end of the first week, every time I closed my eyes, a graphic image of a dead corpse (or corpses), some horrible tragedy, or some violent video I saw would pop into my mind. Even so, I was determined to understand the true nature of these wars, even if it meant countless graphic images, so I kept watching. Maybe I would have been fine if it had stopped there. However, I had the amazing opportunity to attend a pro-life leadership camp for young adults for several days. We not only saw a fair share of graphic photos of many historical genocides, but we were asked to watch a three minute video of post-aborted babies…from around 10 weeks until perhaps 21 weeks. The images are burned into my mind. Soon, all I could think about were the 16 million dead in Soviet Russia during World War II, photos of the piled up skeleton corpses from the Holocaust, and those tragic, inhuman videos and photos of the aborted babies with the number 4,000 burned into my brain permanently…the average number of babies killed per day. All I could think about was death, and I was despairing. How could I make a difference in this world? Would I just be another number…another death? How can we survive in such a heartless world?
Coincidentally, the Easter Triduum was beginning right around this time, and praise God from whom bountiful graces flow. It struck me in the middle of the Easter Vigil as I was bringing all this despair to the Lord. Every single sin committed in history mashed up into one enormous sin. That was what our dearest Jesus experienced on the cross. And he defeated it! The battle is already won. I do not need to worry, for Christ has conquered death!
Not soon after, I was reminded that even that one enormous mashup of sin compared to God’s infinite mercy and love looks like the smallest of ants placed next to the largest of mountains. Can you picture that? Because to me, that is incomprehensible. God loves each of us as if we were the only thing he created, and he devotes in its entirety that ENORMOUS and INFINITE amount of mercy and love to each and every one us. Every life is priceless. Looking at our culture of death, it is easy to forget that. But after that experience this Easter Triduum, I know God will never let me forget His love for every single life He has created.